Is your Church protected against Child Predators?

This is probably the most difficult post I’ve ever had to do about security.  If you pay any attention to the news, you know that not all sexual offenders are found in the local shopping mall, the schools, or even on your street.  But, sadly, they also show up in churches.  

Like predators hunting defenseless prey, they do unspeakably, horrible things to our children.  Much could be prevented, but many churches do not know how to protect their children and how to respond when child sex abuse happens.  It all adds up to being irresponsible with the littlest ones that God has entrusted to our care.

Here are a few ways that churches fail our kids which will give you a sense of what could go wrong:

1) Because churches are so desperate for volunteers, sexual offenders know they can get easy access to kids.

2) Because churches are so informal, they don’t bother checking on someone’s past or screening volunteers.

3) Because Christians make too many assumptions about sexual abuse, they think things like, it will never happen to us, or we know everyone at church and none of our friends would do something like this.

4) Because Christians make too many assumptions about sexual offenders.  They assume they are not anything like us, when in fact sexual offenders come in all types—white collar or blue collar, single or married, male or female, educated or uneducated, rich or poor.

5) Because sexual offenders are smart.  They know Christians are naive, so they take advantage of their trust.  Some will cultivate a double life, appearing like the nicest guy in the world.  They do this in order to get easy access to children.

6) Because when child sex abuse happens at church, there are often no policies in place for how to handle it.  When pastors try to handle this internally without a response plan and without involving authorities, children are victimized yet again—but this time by church authorities.

What should be done to protect our churches from sexual predators?

Don’t Make False Assumptions

1) It will never happen to us.

2) Sexual perpetrators are monsters, not anything like us.

3) We know the people in our church. (Jeremiah 17:9)

4) Our church is safe for our kids.

Be Aware of the Types, Techniques and Targets of Sexual Predators

1) Some use power while others use persuasion.

2) They groom the community and the victims, and count on privacy.

3) They target situations that provide lots of access to children. (Sheep)

Strategies for Protecting Against Abuse

1) Create and implement a child protection policy.

2) Create a check-in and checkout process.

3) Church membership.

4) Screening and verification.

5) Building design – boundaries, no isolation, and unobstructed visibility.

6) Train staff and volunteers.

7) Prepare church leaders, parents, children and teens before abuse happens.

8) Get to know resources in your community.

Strategies for Responding to Abuse

1) Report child abuse.

2) Respond wisely to victims, the congregation and the media – compassion, confession, counseling, change, and conciliation.

3) Deal wisely with a child abuser.

Ways to Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse

1) Explain to your child that God made their body.

2) Teach proper names of private body parts.

3) Invite your child’s communication.

4) Differentiate between good touch and bad touch.

5) Don’t ask your child to maintain your emotions.

6) Throw out the word “secret.”

7) Clarify rules for playing “doctor.”

8) Identify whom to trust.

9) Report suspected abuse immediately.

Grown-ups are solely responsible for the safety of children.  It’s important to teach children how to recognize and avoid risky situations, but it’s unrealistic to think that a child can fend off sexual advances by an adult.  Fortunately, we can protect them – by insisting on prevention policies in our youth serving organizations, by recognizing signs of sexual abuse, and by confronting and stopping abuse if it occurs.

It might be hard to understand that child sexual abusers don’t always “look” or “act” the part, despite what you see on TV shows.  In fact, most predators go to great lengths to appear trustworthy, and kind to children and family members – this is part of their “grooming” tactics.  They want to appear trustworthy and friendly so they would never even be suspected of evil-doing.

There is no one way to groom a child and his/her family, just as there is no one way to spot a predator. There are, however, some things parents and other caring adults can look for, and in turn, become more vigilant in protecting their kids.

For example:

1) They don’t appear to have a regular number of adult friends and prefers to spend free time interacting with children and teenagers who are not his own.

2) Finds ways to be alone with a child or teen when adults are not likely to interrupt, such as taking the child for a car ride, arranging a special trip, frequently offering to baby sit, etc.

3) Ignores a child’s verbal or physical cues that he or she does not want to be hugged, kissed, tickled, etc.

4) Seems to have a different special child or teen friend of a particular age or appearance from year to year.

5) Gives a child or teen money or gifts for no particular occasion.

6) Discusses or asks a child or teen to discuss sexual experiences or feelings.

7) Gives a child or teen money or gifts for no particular occasion.

8) Doesn’t respect a child’s or teen’s privacy in the bathroom or bedroom.

9) Views child pornography through tapes, photographs, magazines or the Internet. (In addition to being an important behavioral sign, possessing, viewing and/or selling child pornography is a criminal offense and should be reported)

Considering the prevalence of this topic, it’s more important than ever that the leaders and lay people in the church understand exactly how to protect against child abuse, and what should be done if abuse is reported.

It’s up to EVERY ministry to pro-actively include child safety classes so that EVERY employee, volunteer, office administrator, bible study leader, youth group chaperone, and yes – even parents who want to be educated and informed – gets the opportunity to learn what they can do to keep children safe.

Ministries are uniquely challenged to get this right because people TRUST you to keep their children safe. You are the one place, the one safe haven, that people feel they can turn to find peace and comfort in their lives. 

I have developed and made available to anyone interested, for FREE, a Child Protection Covenant  template. 

This MS Word documents can be adapted as necessary to fit your church size and needs.  I will be adding new forms as time allows.

For a copy of this FREE form, or if you have any questions, you can contact me at:

Integrity Security Consulting

Russ Sharrock

405-762-2471 | integrityseccon@hotmail.com

Why have a Code of Conduct?

The following are a few reasons why such a Code is necessary:

• It provides a sense of direction, of a set of principles and behaviors everyone aspires to achieve.

• It can provide guidance in situations encountered while providing care.

• It can describe the minimum acceptable level of care.

• It sets expectations for all people who come into contact with children.

• It gives parents and guardians a sense of how their children will be treated.

The Code your Ministry develops is for the following people:

• Paid and volunteer childcare workers, full and part-time.

• Everyone who the opportunity to come into contact with children.

• The parents, guardians, and family members of the children